I did NOT write this, but it’s so true

Captured from Facebook friend, if you wrote it & didn’t get credit, I’m sorry.  Two of these really spoke to me.

The “Female” commentary about it being a date; I went to an Ole Miss game in the 1970’s, and we stopped at Burger King to get a hamburger before the game.  I’d never seen so many young people so dressed up; remember thinking “Gee, what do they wear when they go to Western Sizzlin’?”  The girls also had on their finest Fall wardrobe finery, which in those days was a sweater and a wool midi-skirt (if you don’t remember, that’s the skirt that hit at mid-calf).  Even tho it was “Fall”, it was still over 90 degrees & sunny; those girls were sweaty messes, but by that time, they’d had enough “refreshments”, they didn’t care.

The “Female” commentary on tackling him and breaking his legs; the first time The Yankee and I watched an SEC football game together on TV, he told me “Sweetheart, I didn’t know you KNEW those words”.  You are forgiven this lapse in decorum if it’s a really bad call by the referee.

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Women’s Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with lipstick and waterproof mascara. Dressing up for the game like it’s a date, because it is

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets. Students order their Sports Pass so they never miss a game!

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they’re going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting ‘Game Day Live’ to get on camera and wave to the students up north who wonder why ‘Game Day Live’ is never broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, drinks with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band,… who come over during breaks and hangout.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask ‘Where’s the stadium?’ When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day it is the state’s
third largest city.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone).

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: ‘Nice play.’
SOUTH: ‘Tackle him and break his legs.’

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: ‘My, this certainly is a violent sport.’
SOUTH: ‘Tackle him and break his legs.’

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, Dave Matthews plays on, and planning begins for next week.