Things Only Southerners Say When It Snows

If you’ve lived “up north” all your life, you have no idea what “Snowmaggeddon” does in the south.  Panic over an unnatural event that terrifies us!  It immediately sets off a rush to any and all food stores to buy bread and milk.  Don’t ask me why, I don’t even drink milk, and I’d rush out to get some – in case we were going to have to survive off snow ice cream, maybe.

Once, in South Louisiana, where people could live their whole lives without seeing snow, tiny little barely-visible flakes began falling.  Although there was no chance for any accumulation, my cousin’s co-workers went to beg their boss to let them  leave ‘for safety reasons’.  Their new boss had just transferred down from somewhere in the Northeast and thought (probably not for the 1st time) they were completely crazy.  Turns out, they were right – it wasn’t ‘safe’.  There were tons of car accidents that day, not from icy road conditions, but from people staring out their side windows at the miracle of snow and not watching where they were going.

While real ice storms are terrifying, one group that thoroughly loves it is “The 4-Wheel Drive Brigade”, of which there are many members.  They go on full alert – and patrol endlessly to pull folks out of ditches, etc.  And it’s a good thing, mostly – snow plows and knowledge of how to drive if it’s the slightest bit icy are not found around here.  Unfortunately, a lot of these Knights of the Round Table get themselves stuck, too – which means we need more Snow Knights to come and rescue them.  If everybody just stayed home, well…but it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting.